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Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius: Jimmy Neutron vs. Jimmy Megatron
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Graphics & Sound:
This game looks a bit less big and bright than the last Jimmy Neutron Game Boy release, and it sure plays a whole heck of a lot less fun. But, going by looks alone, there are lots of things to see here. You've got Jimmy and his cohort Goddard, the robotic dog. There are other characters drawn from Jimmy's world, and you'd think after the guy made it to the silver screen he could manage to make a better game. Sure, Nickelodeon watchers who love the characters may find some joy in playing the game, but nothing is likely to overcome their distaste for the poor quality of gaming available in this cart. Verbs and nouns come to mind, but nothing appropriately bad is willing to flow down my arm to the page, so I'll leave it at that. If you're judging this book by its cover, you might be tempted to say Jimmy Neutron vs. Jimmy Megatron looks like a whole lot of fun. But, that kind of logic may leave you reading a lot of dry, boring books.
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Gameplay:
Digging down into what makes Neutron vs. Megatron so insufferably bad would take days or weeks even. At a code level, who knows where the monkey wrench entered the gears, but I suspect that the real culprit for this suckey sucker lies much farther above the code. Whomever decided this was good gameplay, fun entertaining fare...that person was kidding him or herself. If kids enjoy attempting to do repetitive, boring tasks over and over again, I don't know kids. In fact, my memory is that kids like to be challenged, and probably rid themselves of tedious things as quick as possible. Boring old adults are the ones who get stuck in repetitive tedium, and methinks a bit of the old 9-to-5 mentality went into making Neutron vs. Megatron the big disaster it is. Some tired executive decided if punching in and out every day was good enough for him, why not make little kids do the same tired stuff on their GBA for endless level after endless level until playing the damn game feels more like work than play. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time, but... The short, and less sarcastic version is that once you've played a single level, or attempted to fuddle through the controls of a single level of Neutron vs. Megatron, you've played the entire game. Not that the graphics don't change, because as mentioned there's certainly some visual flair to this thing. But, the frustrating and poor design in the first few levels never seems to change. No matter whether you play as Jimmy or Goddard, your fate is identical. Really, I can't remember the last time I was so put off by a game. |
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Difficulty:
Difficult is jumping the same obstacle 10 times with identical results. Difficult is trying to dodge a bullet 10 times without any luck. Difficult is trying to switch characters, repeating the above steps, and wasting 20 more times. These things taken in combination may result in a smashed GBA. I found myself talking to the game, which is a very bad sign. Okay, I do that with most games, but I understand the difference between a challenging setting where you're saying, 'Come on, man, come on!' and an impossible, dirty challenge where you just say, 'Man, you must be kidding, that was so cheap!' Don't subject yourself to this misery.
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Game Mechanics:
Part of the reason Neutron vs. Megatron is so terrible stems from poor level design. Obstacles that can't be crossed except by luck and enemies you can't get away from even when you try, to give a few examples. The other root cause for so much frustration is an awkward control scheme. To move Jimmy around, you push up or down to go forward or backward, push left or right to turn his body, and strafe with a combination of the D-Pad and a shoulder button. Sounds fine, until you find yourself looking at the tiny screen trying to move around and realize it would have made more sense to do what every other GBA and even GBC game did and just have the D-Pad control movement. Movement, pure and simple. The idea of turning and then trying to move leads to many hang-ups, and even when you get the side-step motion down you just end up eating the dust many, many times because enemies are relentless. This in the first or second level you play, so there is heavy frustration and confusion over the control scheme within the first 10 minutes of play. Although there are plenty of levels, none of them get any easier. Instead of a ramp-up period in Neutron vs. Megatron, you get a spiraling, burning mess. My new rule is, when the back of the manual includes a Burger King advertisement, I'll be looking for another game. This is so obviously hack work, and surprising because of the moderately good game released under Jimmy's name before for Game Boy. Nobody likes to see this kind of stuff, but it is especially bad here. Sometimes, you wonder if anybody played a game before it went out. In this case, I suspect a few people will wish they had, based on the chilly reception Neutron vs. Megatron should get in the marketplace. For my money, steer clear of this turkey and do something more fun like sticking yourself with a sharp object. |
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-Fridtjof, GameVortex Communications AKA Matt Paddock |
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