Becca (Jenn Proske) is moving in with her dad (Diedrich Bader, The Drew Cary Show, Office Space and more recently as a recurring character on Bones), whom she hasn't really seen in many years. The town she lives in seems to have a slight vampire problem, despite the fact that no one there recognizes it as such, and quite frankly, Becca herself isn't too quick on picking up the signs either.
She quickly meets a boy she used to know, Jacob (Chris Riggi), who seems to have some canine tendencies, and at her first day at school, she meets the Sullen family. Of course, the pale-faced character that catches her eye the most is Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter, 90210 and the voice of Anakin Skywalker in the CG Star Wars movie and TV series). The boy's odd behavior immediately intrigues Becca, and she soon learns he and his family's secret - they are vampires.
Meanwhile, another band of vamps has shown up in town, and they are starting to wreak some havoc. While Becca's life is threatened by them, it seems Edward has to protect the girl from pretty much everyone and everything, even the Sullen family itself in a lengthy gag where each member of his family attempts to eat Becca and Edward has to constantly defend her from them.
Eventually Edward realizes that she is in danger as long as she remains with him, so they break up and Becca falls into the arms of Jacob, but very briefly. In a strange turn of events, Edward believes Becca is dead and realizes he can't go on living... um... un-living? without her. His plan is to reveal himself as a vampire at the prom and force the vampire governing body to kill him lest the existence of vampires becomes common knowledge.
In the grand scheme of things, Vampires Suck is an average spoof movie that is very focused in its target. While a lot of spoof films these days attack specific genres and sub-genres, Vampires Suck is pretty much all about Twilight, though there are some nods to other films and shows like True Blood and Buffy the Vampire Slayer for those who are paying attention.
The Extended Bite Me Edition version of the film doesn't offer a lot of extras. While the surround sound comes through loud and clear, there isn't a lot of action that really warrants the extra fidelity that comes with the more expensive media. The same can be said for the film's visual aspects. While nice in HD, there isn't really anything that says it's a must see on Blu-ray. Even the film's special features are a bit weak. Vampires Suck: Extended Bite Me Edition comes with both the Theatrical and Unrated Extended Cut, but there is little difference between the two. Outside of the extra version, there is also a set of deleted scenes and a gag reel.
Vampires Suck's target audience is a little off. In order to get most of the jokes, the viewer would have to be really familiar with the Twilight franchise (both films and movies since I believe there are references to the later books). What makes the target audience unusual is that the desired viewers would also have to be tired enough of the vampire trend to want to see a film that pokes fun at it. Even then, if you find yourself belonging to that weird subgroup, Vampires Suck isn't worth more than a rental.
